by Chris Vegvary
You guys know the old story: a horrible maniac is stalking
the children of the neighborhood, and when he’s finally caught by the police,
he is released on a technicality. A group of outraged parents forms a mob and
surrounds the maniac in his refuge, burning him alive and watching him die.
This is how the dream demon Freddy Krueger came to be, and from then on, he
returned in the nightmares of the children of the parents who burned him to
torture and kill them, collecting their souls and becoming more powerful. Once
his revenge was complete, he was powerful enough to move on to other children
whose families had no connection with his past. He is truly a monster.
Stop me if you’ve heard this one: a mentally unwell and
physically deformed boy is treated like crap by the other kids at his local
camp that his mother insisted he go to, and while swimming alone one day in the
lake, his cries for help are ignored by camp counselors who are too busy having
sex. The boy drowns, and his mother goes insane, blaming the counselors and
going on a killing spree 21 years later. Once she is beheaded by the last
surviving counselor, her son watches on from the woods and decides to take a
little vengeance of his own. This is how Jason Voorhees came to be,
once a deformed, overpowered hillbilly wearing a potato sack over his head, now
a hulking, undead killer with super strength and donning a goalie-style hockey
mask. He has been to New York and even space, and was used once as a pawn in
Freddy Krueger’s schemes.
Last, but not least, the old story goes something like this:
five friends decide to take a trip to a cabin in the woods, where they
unwittingly release a force of evil that gradually consumes their souls and
possesses their bodies one by one, until there is only one chainsaw-armed hero
left standing. He has travelled through time in order to save us from the
terrors of the Deadites, and his name is Ashley J. Williams. Clearly, he has
what it takes to stop the most evil of beings.
After the success of 2003’s film Freddy vs. Jason, there was, of course, talk of a sequel. It would have
involved Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees facing off against Ash Williams
after a huge killing spree, with Ash ultimately saving the day in the end and
sending Freddy and Jason through a portal summoned by the Necronomicon.
Unfortunately, there were disagreements about who should win, and the film
never happened. It should be noted, however, that although a movie based on
this idea never saw the light of day, there was a comic book with this premise
released in 2007, called Freddy vs. Jason
vs. Ash, and it was everything it should have been, but it would have been
better as a movie. A sequel was released in 2009, called Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash: The Nightmare Warriors, and it featured
the return of many of the survivors from both the Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday
the 13th film franchises.
We should have really lobbied to get this movie made,
because unfortunately, it’s way too late for all that. Robert Englund, as much
as I don’t want to admit it, is too old to play Freddy now, and plus they’ve
already remade the film with a different actor playing Freddy, so it wouldn’t
be right. If they would just get these remakes right, maybe we could eventually
see “Remake Freddy” vs. “Remake Jason” vs. “Remake Ash”. Yeah, let’s have that.
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